Dear heartbroken, single, vulnerable girls-
This is a piece I wrote last year that I needed to share again on the new platform -
This is for you.
Falling in love, falling out of love is something a lot of us experience in our twenties. It can be the worst possible feeling in the world, to love someone for a long period of time and then trying to stop loving them. You sometimes feel empty and don't even want to get dressed in the morning. You pick up your phone again and again, checking his social media, checking her social media. Texting him, sending it — sending another, then waiting.
But to love someone in way that they will always love you back, is to love yourself first. How can we possibly love another person with all we have if we don't even love ourselves to begin with Another person should not make your life complete. Your life should already be complete, and then that person should bring their complete life to you. To create a complete life together, not for each other.
This is hard because we're so young and sometimes love happens way too fast. There are so many people in this world, and so many opportunities as an individual, so much to experience. In order to love yourself, you need to explore, try new things, figure out what you like and what you don't like. In high school it was all about fitting in, doing things even if you didn't like doing them. Your twenties are not like that, your twenties are about figuring out who your true friends are, what your interests are and exploring a whole new way of living.
The single girls,
You may feel like your alone, and still heat broken because well, she got the guy. It's okay to feel that way, and to wonder why things didn't work out. But realize, they didn't work out for a reason. Taking a step back and looking into the past helped me realize, I lost myself and with losing myself, I lost him.
So thank you,
Thank you for helping me realize you weren't the one and that I was. I was the one for myself, the one I needed to be with and work on. A year later I already feel like a different girl, a women with responsibility, dream and passion. I am not that type of girl who is going to change for anyone, only for myself because selfish is the best thing I could ever be right now. Not selfish in a bad, negative way - I still care about so many other people in my life but selfish for putting myself before anyone else. I have truly found what makes me happy, what I want to achieve for myself, setting goals, living on my own. I love how I could pack my things up tomorrow and move to another city just for a year and experience a whole new way of life, meeting new people and creating amazing memories. So when I'm ready and I love myself more then anything in the world, I'll be happy - and he will be there, adding his own happiness to me.
So grab your phone, delete his number, block the new girl and move on. Go out with your friends, meet new guys, experience different types in different cities. Swipe right, swipe left and left again because your better then him. Pamper yourself, stay in, order pizza and binge watch your favourite show because who else is there to give a f*ck. Do you, always.